With all this chaos, many of us may feel conflicted.
On one hand, we have feelings of appreciation for the seriousness and danger of the pandemic while being grateful to our health care workers, politicians, and individuals working endlessly on this fight.
On the other hand, we have feelings of frustration and grieving because our lives have suddenly shifted. I’m here to say, to everyone who needs to hear this: Whatever you do, please don’t cut your bangs.
I know this has been difficult. COVID-19 cases continue to rise, our brave health care professionals are in shortage of personal protective equipment, and state stay-at-home orders are being extended. But cutting your bangs is not the answer!
All the events you looked forward to are now canceled or postponed like the concert you hoped would give you the chance to relive your youth or the graduation ceremony, which granted your parents the chance to feel proud of you before you become unemployed for 2 years because you majored in Latin.
The vacation you were sure would refresh you before having to go back to the job you hate. The birthday party you perfectly timed to have your crush attend, so you can finally have your special drunken moment together are all canceled.
It’s not just the canceled events though, is it? You can’t go out for dinner and pretend you’re enjoying people’s company. You can’t play team sports — although you weren’t going to anyway, and you can’t visit your friends and watch TV on their couch, eat their snacks, and act like their loud pets are adorable. You can’t go out dancing and show off how bad of a dancer you are, or even go out for an overpriced drink with coworkers and pretend to care what your boss has to say.
It’s a challenging and isolating time, but you have to listen to me: Bangs will simply be a temporary solution to a long-term problem!
Before you take any action, call your friends and family who love you, or have convinced themselves they do out of guilt.
They will remind you of the everlasting absolute truth you’re still in denial about: You can’t pull off bangs and you will immediately regret it. Instead, you must try to find new hobbies that follow social distancing guidelines. There’s so many of them and so much to look forward to!
I am dedicating this to one of my dearest friends who’s been planning her wedding for almost a year now. As one of the bridesmaids, I am familiar with some of the details.
Deposits already paid, perfect dresses bought, and cakes picked out. Painful hours of suffering with a grimacing wedding dress store employee whose spirit has probably been sucked dry after so much pretending that every bride she helped was the “prettiest bride she’d ever seen!”
The past few months have not been easy, and I’ve tried my best to help the bride not to stress out — as she’s had so much to deal with. The sweet but overbearing mother-in-law had been taken care of and agonizing hours of preparation and phone calls with family, friends, and the wedding planner already finished.
Redundant fights and disagreements with family already done and settled (as much as they can be settled). Lengthy passive-aggressive emails from the miserable and hateful stepmother tolerated for months. Lists and lists of lists compiled: gifts list, registry list, guests list, finances list, hairstyle list, pointless list, helpful list, and to-kill list.
Ingredients for all the potions to deal with the aforementioned stepmother acquired: unicorn blood, mermaid lymph, and black rose petals. Everything was ready and spelled out! Now, we don’t know what will happen.
Evidently, the overwhelming stress that comes with every wedding has been magnified for brides now. Now more than ever, stressed-out brides must be supported!
We must help them decompress and remain calm. I don’t know why my heart is racing, because everything is going to be fine! We must distract them from all the work they’ve done that might have gone to waste.
Weddings are stupid anyway right? Ignore your anxious sweating and jittery twitches and focus on distracting them from all their perfect wedding dresses they'll have to wait even longer to wear.
Just stay calm. Control your breathing: slowly inhale and exhale. Focus on your chest rising and falling at a steady rate. Our brides shouldn’t have to worry about one of their bridesmaids freaking out and making a terrible mistake. Just stay zen, relaxed and chill.
But, my god! No! I can’t take it anymore! That’s it! Everything is ruined, and you can’t stop me! I am cutting my bangs!
May Chammaa is a contributor for TSE, a medical student and AMA member. She can be reached at email@example.com.